Friday, November 28, 2014

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Teaser Trailer Has Arrived: Stills and Trailer are LIVE

Why companies insist on premiering their trailers on Apple is beyond me...unless I'm the only one who experiences lag when i watch trailers there. My gear is crap. Luckily, Youtube to the rescue. ANYWAY..IT IS HERE!!! Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens AKA "The One Without George Lucas" now has a teaser trailer live on the interwebs, ready to snap it in two faster than 100 shiny Kardashian butts. BREAK THE INTERNET MY WANA BE JEDI AND SITH BRETHREN!!!

So this was me waiting for news it had arrived...

And then Dan Curto, super fan and endless fountain of Star Wars knowledge, tipped me off on Facebook in a post that made it clear he had been sitting on the launch page all morning hitting refresh. That's dedication. Now the time has come and ...I find myself..conflicted.

Clocking in at 1 minute, 28 seconds..I'm not feeling the Star Warsiness. This is the part where you yell at me IT'S ONE MINUTE AND 28 SECONDS!!!! I understand that, and in that time, I expected to get the chills that accompanied every trailer I can remember since far back as I can remember...and that includes the Prequels where, with every viewing, I had convinced myself THIS was going to be the awesome one. No chills thus far. And half the things I saw made my brain go..wait...what? A rolly droid...a woman riding a refrigerator box..what I pray is the first appearance of Robot Chicken's Gary the Stormtrooper..because IT IS HIS TIME. We've got a Sith so bad ass his Light Saber shoots flames out the sides..and apparently possessing no fear of self immolation. HE'S JUST THAT BAD ASS!! We've got X-Wings and Tie Fighters and a lunch expelling shot of the Millennium Falcon rolling like a mofo into battle..and that's the lot. It's pretty much what I expected but not as mind blowing as I had hoped it would be. Here's the eye candy...

December of's going to be a looong wait....with plenty more of this stuff to grind through your teeth.

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