Tuesday, May 31, 2011
"In the time I've worked at DC Comics, I've witnessed any number of industry defining moments. But today, I bring you what is perhaps the biggest news to date.
Many of you have heard rumors that DC Comics has been working on a big publishing initiative for later this year. This is indeed an historic time for us as, come this September, we are relaunching the entire DC Universe line of comic books with all new first issues. 52 of them to be exact.
In addition, the new #1s will introduce readers to a more modern, diverse DC Universe, with some character variations in appearance, origin and age. All stories will be grounded in each character's legend - but will relate to real world situations, interactions, tragedy and triumph.
This epic event will kick off on Wednesday, August 31st with the debut of a brand new JUSTICE LEAGUE #1, which pairs Geoff Johns and Jim Lee, together for the first time. (Yes, this is the same week as FLASHPOINT #5.)
We think our current fans will be excited by this evolution, and that it will make jumping into the story extremely accessible to first-time readers - giving them a chance to discover DC's characters and stories.
We are positioning ourselves to tell the most innovative stories with our characters to allow fans to see them from a new angle. We have taken great care in maintaining continuity where most important, but fans will see a new approach to our storytelling.
Some of the characters will have new origins, while others will undergo minor changes. Our characters are always being updated; however, this is the first time all of our characters will be presented in a new way all at once.
Dan DiDio, Bob Harras and Eddie Berganza have been working diligently to pull together some of the best creative teams in the industry. Over 50 new costumes will debut in September, many updated and designed by artist Jim Lee, ensuring that the updated images appeal to the current generation of readers.
The publication of JUSTICE LEAGUE #1 will also launch digital day-and-date for all ongoing superhero comic book titles - an industry first.
On Wednesday, June 1st, this initiative is expected to be announced in a nationwide feature article, and we're hopeful the news will be picked up by media outlets around the world. Throughout the month we'll reveal more details of our plans with articles in both the mainstream and comics press and on June 13th the Diamond catalog solicitations for all of the September titles will be released, followed by the June 29th street date of the print version of Previews.
DC Comics will support this initiative with an innovative mix of publicity, promotional efforts and retailer incentives designed to maximize your opportunity to increase your DC sales. We will discuss additional details of these incentives when we get closer to solicitation later in June.
We'll be updating you more through email as September nears. But today, I hope your share our enthusiasm for this historic news!
Sooooo...can you say Heroes Reborn? We remember how well that one went. I'm actually baffled over this one. Granted I read no DC titles anymore beyond American Vampire, so perhaps the things that drove me away became apparent to those creating the comics? Will the constant cycle of super events finally come to an end? After a bomb drop like this, what happens next is anyone's guess.
Mezco’s 6” figure captures the wide-eyed enthusiasm and quirky nature of Scott Pilgrim and features 8 points of articulation.
Originally displayed at Toy Fair, this version of Scott Pilgrim had to be removed from the initial wave of figures due to production issues.
Now, thanks to overwhelming demand, this special edition is being made available to Scott Pilgrim fans!
This variant figure wears a yellow shirt and comes with a removable cloth coat, the Power Of Love sword, and guitar.
This is a non-numbered limited edition item.
Edition size TBD.
This item will premiere at the world famous San Diego Comic Con, but is also available for pro-order at: http://www.mezcotoyz.com/store/SearchResult.aspx?CategoryID=155
Shout Factory: The ONLY company able to make Gamera and the Mystery Science Theater crew play nice with each other. The fine fiends at the Factory have sent a nice stack of DVD's for prizes. Get your copy of Galaxy of Terror signed by Sid Haig and ask him about giant alien rapist slugs!
Magnolia: Providing only the most insane collection of movie titles for the masses. Magnolia is sending a stack of posters from current releases like Troll Hunter and Rubber (the story of a killer tire!) as well as some DVDs for prizes.
Quirk Books: Those warped geniuses behind Pride and Prejudice and Zombies! Quirk generously dumped 2 boxes of books in my lap for prizes as well as some awesome posters you'll be able to scoop up.
After Dark: Always sure to bring you 8 Films to DIE For. Their posters will be on the table for you to snatch while selections from their DVD collections will be tossed into our hourly contests.
SEGA: Who recently infused your Wii with Conduit 2 and will soon possess your Kinect! For all my geeks in the house, SEGA sent us the last of their exclusive WONDERCON Thor and Loki posters as well as limited edition Conduit 2 figures for the contests! These were only released in Australia, so if you are a furious gamer, be on the lookout!
Dark Horse: They’ll show you their Tim Burton goodies if you show them yours! (this is gonna get weird..I can tell). We'll be displaying 2 pieces from their large scale Tim Burton Tragic Toys for Boys & Girls series.
Warner Brothers: That movie company who service every sort of geek under the sun. I actually have no idea what the good ole WB is sending, but I hope it looks like rolls of awesome posters!
Activision: Who will make that Call of the Dead for you and won’t reverse the charges. Come grab a free contest ticket and hope your number is up..to win a limited edition Call of the Dead poster!!
HBO: With the triumphant return of your favorite southern fried Vamps. HBO want you to celebrate the new season of True Blood with us so look for some limited edition teaser posters on the tables.
IMAX: Who pose the question; What is better than Pirates of the Caribbean in 3D? Pirates of the Caribbean in IMAX 3D on a screen bigger than your house!!! The movie is in theaters now, but we'll keep the party going with some posters & other pirate booty.
Adrenaline PR: Rocking your brains out since the days of Gozer the Gozerian! Again...no clue what our friends in metal are sending over, but I'm sure it will ROCK.
Want some free stuff while rubbing elbows the with nightmare elite? Get your ass to Saturday Nightmares!! We’ll see you there!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
First Note: You can pre-order all Bif Bang Pow's merch through Entertainment Earth and score some for yourself even if you aren't attending. Also, these exclusives will be available at both SDCC and NYCC (New York, natch')! Smart cookies.
- Icons of the Twilight Zone bobble..um..Door! : Standing about 5-inches tall x 4-inches wide and fashioned of resin, this terrific Icons Bobble Head from Bif Bang Pow! features excellent detail that's true to the legendary The Twilight Zone TV series and typical of the bobble heads in this line. In black and white, it includes 5 unforgettable symbols synonymous with Rod Serling and The Twilight Zone: clock, swirl, eyeball, spaceship, and E=mc2… and 3 of them float and bobble!
- Lost Polar Bear Bobble Head : Deftly crafted of resin by Bif Bang Pow!, this sensational Polar Bear Bobble Head stands approximately 5 1/2-inches long x 4 1/4-inches tall x 2 1/2-inches wide and features superb detail that's accurate to the mega-popular Lost TV series and typical of the bobble heads in this line. Wearing a Dharma Initiative collar, its amazing themed base features a cage wall and fish biscuit.
- Venture Bros. Rusty & Jonas Venture Sr. w/Tin Tote : This Comic-Con Exclusive features a retro-styled metal tote that measures 8 5/8-inches wide x 6 3/4-inches tall x 4-inches deep, with series-specific artwork that is 100% new and was commissioned by the show's artists, Stephen DeStefano and Liz Artinian. Modeled after Rusty's lunch box from the episode "Escape to the House of Mummies Part II" in Adult Swim's all-the-rage animated series The Venture Bros., it comes packaged with awesome action figures of Jonas Venture Sr. and Rusty Venture. These fully articulated, 8-inch tall figures sport real fabric clothing and a 1970s retro style that accurately portrays that distinctive action-comedy mix that has become synonymous with the TV series. Order this and join The Venture Bros. for lunch every day! Limited edition of 1,500 pieces.
Presenting Dr. Jonas Venture, Sr., deceased father of Jonas Jr. and Dr. Thaddeus Venture. The super action figure of famed scientist/adventurer features a removable coat, as well as goggles and ORB accessories that will make him a key member of your Venture Bros. team! With a backpack accessory and a watch accessory to add to his authenticity and appeal, the engaging Rusty Venture Action Figure will win a place in your heart… and your collection.
- Twilight Zone Bob Wilson / Don Carter Figure Exclusive : Bif Bang Pow!'s incredible line of fully articulated action figures grounded in Rod Serling's enduring The Twilight Zone TV series rolls on with this extraordinary figure. The 1970s-style figure stands 8-inches tall in shades of black and white and features episode-fabric clothing, in addition to multiple points of articulation and an all-new head sculpt officially approved by William Shatner. It would make an excellent collectible and appreciated gift for any Twilight Zone aficionado! Limited edition of 1,500 pieces.
Features one action figure body along with clothing and accessories so you can recreate William Shatner's image from two episodes: "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" and "Nick of Time." Don Carter Action Figure sports accurate clothing (including his watch) and a miniature Mystic Seer fortune-telling machine accessory! Former mental patient Bob Wilson comes with his handgun and newspaper accessories.
- Doctor Who TARDIS Bobble with Sound : With this extraordinary TARDIS Bobble Head based on the Classic Series, the entire TARDIS bobbles… and it includes the signature materialize and dematerialize sounds! Measuring approximately 6 3/4-inches tall x 2 3/4-inches wide x 2 3/4-inches long, the one-of-a-kind bobble head also features a remarkable Doctor Who-themed base with a button to activate the sound.
- Doctor Who Cyberleader & The Master Exclusive Action Figures : Travel through time and space with Doctor Who! Reminiscent of the best-selling action figures of the 1970s and 1980s, Bif Bang Pow!'s amazing Doctor Who figures stand 8-inches tall and feature episode-specific fabric clothing, in addition to multiple points of articulation. Based on the incredibly popular television series, they embody that distinctive look and feel of the longest-running sci-fi TV series in the world.
This Series 2 set includes 2 individually packaged action figures (subject to change):
1x Cyberleader & 1x The Master
- Dexter Dark Defender 3 3/4-Inch Comic-Con Exclusive Figure : Bif Bang Pow! presents the first-ever 3 3/4-inch Dexter action figure based on Showtime's hit series Dexter! This fan-demanded Dark Defender Action Figure is deftly crafted of PVC plastic and features 10 points of articulation and an awesome blood-slide accessory. It's also fully compatible with Entertainment Earth's own line of action figure stands (sold separately). You'll want this good guy / bad guy in your toy box or Dexter collection! Limited edition of 3,000 pieces.
Note: These items will first be available to purchase in person at San Diego Comic-Con and New York Comic-Con. Online orders will ship after New York Comic-Con, while supplies last. Expected arrival for shipping is November.
Disney Store Marvel Select Exclusive figures will land this August! Classic Hawkeye and Classic Thor will start things off, with Classic Captain America and Classic Black Widow following in September. Diamond Select says "Hawkeye comes with the Wasp (perched on an arrow) and a detailed base featuring the battered remains of Ultron." Readers will note that Marvel Select is in a 7 inch scale, making folks like Juggernaut and Thor in scale with your Marvel Legends collection while someone like Black Widow looks amazonian. I expect collectors will be excited for a new classic Thor figure, since Marvel Select were also the guys to make my favorite Thor action figure wearing his current comic costume. I also expect some buzz around the amazing base Hawkeye is standing on! That said, I'm most curious about the scale of these new figures (in relation to each other), as it would be a sad sad day if we find Black Widow to be the same height as Thor, so keep watching Idleblog for more info as it trickles out.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
100 fans died the night of his final live performance, sucked dry of their blood but struck with a look of complete bliss; laying before the skeletal remains of their rock god. His thirst for power caught the eye of Emperor Ozomu, who resurrected the musician, commanding him to kill the Darkstalkers if he wished to gain even greater power. Lord Raptor agrees to this task, but he secretly works to take the Emperor's seat of power for himself.
Sideshow Collectibles is proud to bring you Lord Raptor, new from Pop Culture Shock. This is the ultimate Darkstalkers collectible. A 1:4 scale statue of Lord Raptor/Zabel in mixed media, featuring real fabric pants and real guitar strings! In very limited edition of only 175 pieces, the Sideshow Exclusive version also comes with an interchangeable black guitar. This collectible also comes with a signed certificate of authenticity by Jerry Macaluso.
Click this link to reserve your undead rocker today! Get the Pop Culture Shock Collectibles Darkstalkers Series Lord Raptor Mixed Media Statue at Sideshow Collectibles!!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Next up is Crazy Stupid Love which has a sort of Love Actually feel wrapped around a central story of a miserable man (Steve Carell) in the midst of a divorce who befriends a ladies' man..and i'm assuming the two learn from each other. Awwww. It's like a touchy feely version of I Love You Man? Maybe. I'm a sucker for these non-typical, borderline sarcastic feel good movies. Take a look...
Finally, we have Final Destination 5. I know I know. The last one was THE FINAL Destination and they are dirty liars, but when is the last time you could say "I am genuinely amped for a Final Destination movie!" ??!! You might now. With a very likeable cast flanked with excellent comedians and top notch special effects, this might finally be a Final Destination movie worth rushing to opening night for...and seeing in 3D! After all, this is why 3D was invented.
Monday, May 23, 2011
The focus of the story is Walter, the world’s biggest Muppet fan, and his friends Gary (Segel) and Mary (Adams), Together, they discover the nefarious plan of oilman Tex Richman (Cooper) to raze the Muppet Theater and drill for the oil recently discovered beneath the Muppets’ former stomping grounds. To stage The Greatest Muppet Telethon Ever and raise the $10 million needed to save the theater, Walter, Mary and Gary help Kermit reunite the Muppets, who have all gone their separate ways: Fozzie now performs with a Reno casino tribute band called the Moopets, Miss Piggy is a plus-size fashion editor at Vogue Paris, Animal is in a Santa Barbara clinic for anger management, and Gonzo is a high-powered plumbing magnate.
Thanks to Wilson at Blackfilm.com for the heads up on this new trailer!!
“Voltron Force stays true to the concepts that made the original such a success, but also takes the action, adventure and fantastical robotic creations to the next level,” said Keith Dawkins, Senior Vice President and General Manager of Nicktoons and TeenNick. “As a fan myself, it’s exciting to see the saga continue and for our network to be part of the brand’s legacy.”
“I’m truly excited to be involved in the re-emergence of this classic cartoon,” said Swizz Beatz. “I enjoyed watching Voltronas a child and now can enjoy it with my own kids.”
The original robot-action show, Voltron: Defender of the Universe, has become a massive pop-culture success since its launch in 1984. The series’ signature maneuver of combining forces to attain a common goal has resonated with many, earning references on television shows (such as South Park, The Fairly OddParents and Lost), by hip-hop artists (Swizz Beatz, Busta Rhymes, Eminem, Wu Tang Clan, among others) and by athletes (like LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Amar’e Stoudemire, Laurence Maroney and Chris Paul). The series also has a loyal Hollywood following of celebrities such as Jonah Hill, Megan Fox, Seth Green and Zach Galifianakis, to name a few.
Set five years after Voltron: Defender of the Universe, Voltron Force follows three new recruits – Daniel, Vince and Larmina – as they get a once-in-a-lifetime chance to train alongside their heroes – Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge and Allura – and learn to fly incredible robot lions. The series will journey to new planets, discover new powers and unearth ancient secrets. Voltron will be needed once again to combat a rising evil in the galaxy and a tyrant from within. Bonds will be formed, friendships will be tested and plenty of laughs will be had as the Voltron Force gels together as a team in an epic battle of good versus evil.
In the 90-minute movie premiere, “Voltron Force: New Defenders Trilogy,” Daniel and Vince are recruited into an underground resistance movement led by former members of the Voltron Force to recover the keys to the lions. They soon meet fellow classmate Larmina, and the three cadets are introduced to their Voltcoms, an advanced wrist device that acts as an activation key to the lions. Their Voltcoms are also capable of generating unique weapons and powers based on personality and fighting styles. As the new cadets explore the Castle of Lions and uncover clues to Voltron’s origins, the original Force gets their groove back to form Voltron once more, determined to take on the duel-threat of King Lotor’s Robeast and Sky Marshal Wade’s war machine.
On Nicktoons.com, a dedicated Voltron Force show page will feature video clips, full episodes, flipbooks, characters profiles, a dedicated message board and exclusive weekly printables. A new printable, featuring exclusive character art, will become available every Thursday during premiere episodes. Additionally, on May 27, Nicktoons.com will launch a new game, “Voltron Force: Ultimate Victory,” which will allow users to play as all five Lions and transform into Voltron. During the on-air premiere of Voltron Force on June 16, the network will also offer a Game Code that unlocks the bonus and unlimited “blazing sword” in the game.
Friday, May 20, 2011
The Autobots, led by Optimus Prime, are back in action, taking on the evil Decepticons, who are determined to avenge their defeat in 2009’s Transformers Revenge of the Fallen. In this new movie, the Autobots and Decepticons become involved in a perilous space race between the U.S. and Russia, and once again human Sam Witwicky has to come to the aid of his robot friends. There’s new characters too, including a new villain in the form of Shockwave, a longtime “Transformers” character who rules Cybertron while the Autobots and Decepticons battle it out on Earth.
Note the date change...JUNE 29th will be here before you know it!! ..and despite our love/hate relationship, how f'n cool will this look on IMAX 3D?!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Yabba dabba doo! FOX has picked up THE FLINTSTONES, a 21st century version of the classic animated comedy from executive producer Seth MacFarlane. In a cross-studio collaboration, THE FLINTSTONES will be produced jointly by 20th Century Fox Television and Warner Bros. Television. Warner Bros. is home to THE FLINTSTONES via its ownership of the Hanna-Barbera collection of animated titles. Dan Palladino (“Gilmore Girls”) and Kara Vallow (Family Guy) will also serve as executive producers. THE FLINTSTONES will begin production in fall 2011 and will be set in stone on the FOX schedule in 2013.
“The very first cartoon character I drew at age two was Fred Flintstone,” said MacFarlane. “So it’s appropriate that events have come full circle, allowing me to produce the newest incarnation of this great franchise. Plus, I think America is finally ready for an animated sitcom about a fat, stupid guy with a wife who’s too good for him.”
“The Flintstones are among the funniest and most beloved characters in television history, and we can’t wait to introduce them to a whole new generation on FOX,” said Kevin Reilly, President of Entertainment, Fox Broadcasting Company. “FOX has long been home to iconic families like the Simpsons and the Griffins, so I have no doubt that the Flintstones and the Rubbles are going to fit right in on our air.”
The (pre)historic return of THE FLINTSTONES will feature MacFarlane’s modern-day take on the lives of the Flintstones and the Rubbles, two hard-working middle-class families living with contemporary conveniences in the dinosaur-era town of Bedrock. The series centers on hard-headed patriarch FRED FLINTSTONE and best friend and sidekick BARNEY RUBBLE. Fred’s Stone-Age clan includes wife WILMA, daughter PEBBLES and pet dinosaur DINO, while Barney’s brood consists of wife BETTY and son BAMM-BAMM.
MacFarlane’s lineup of animated series continues to dominate Sunday nights. Everyone’s favorite families from Quahog, Langley Falls and Stoolbend will be back for more laughs as Family Guy, American Dad and The Cleveland Show were recently renewed for a 10th, seventh and fourth seasons, respectively.THE FLINTSTONES will be co-produced by 20th Century Fox Television and Warner Bros. Television. MacFarlane and Palladino serve as executive producers of the series and co-writers on the pilot. Vallow will serve as executive producer on the series. Voice actors for the series will be announced.
Leading an all-star international cast, Oscar® winner Christian Bale (“The Fighter”) again plays the dual role of Bruce Wayne/Batman.
The film also stars Anne Hathaway, as Selina Kyle; Tom Hardy, as Bane; Oscar® winner Marion Cotillard (“La Vie en Rose”), as Miranda Tate; and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, as John Blake.
Returning to the main cast, Oscar® winner Michael Caine (“The Cider House Rules”) plays Alfred; Gary Oldman is Commissioner Gordon; and Oscar® winner Morgan Freeman (“Million Dollar Baby”) reprises the role of Lucius Fox.
In helming “The Dark Knight Rises,” Christopher Nolan is utilizing IMAX® cameras even more extensively than he did on “The Dark Knight,” which had marked the first time ever that a major feature film was partially shot with IMAX® cameras. The results were so spectacular that the director wanted to expand the use of the large-format cameras for this film.
The screenplay for “The Dark Knight Rises” is written by Christopher Nolan and Jonathan Nolan, story by Christopher Nolan & David S. Goyer. The film is being produced by Emma Thomas, Christopher Nolan and Charles Roven, who previously teamed on “Batman Begins” and the record-breaking blockbuster “The Dark Knight.” The executive producers are Benjamin Melniker, Michael E. Uslan, Kevin De La Noy and Thomas Tull, with Jordan Goldberg serving as co-producer. “The Dark Knight” is based upon characters appearing in comic books published by DC Comics. Batman was created by Bob Kane.
Behind the scenes, “The Dark Knight Rises” reunites the director with several of his longtime collaborators, all of whom worked together on the “The Dark Knight.” The creative team includes director of photography Wally Pfister, who recently won an Oscar® for his work on Nolan’s “Inception”; production designer Nathan Crowley; editor Lee Smith; and Oscar®-winning costume designer Lindy Hemming (“Topsy-Turvy”). In addition, Paul Franklin and Chris Corbould, who both won Oscars® for the effects in “Inception,” will supervise the visual and special effects, respectively. The music will be composed by Oscar® winner Hans Zimmer (“The Lion King”).
The locations for “The Dark Knight Rises” span three continents and include the American cities of Pittsburgh, New York and Los Angeles, as well as sites in India, England and Scotland.
“The Dark Knight Rises” is a presentation of Warner Bros. Pictures, in association with Legendary Pictures. Slated for release on July 20, 2012, the film will be distributed worldwide by Warner Bros. Pictures, a Warner Bros. Entertainment Company.
Drawing a coveted five-star rating from users within hours of its release by Paramount Pictures, both fans and reviewers are calling the Super 8™ app the best movie tie-in app of all time.
The app, which is distributed by Paramount Digital Entertainment and was created by app-development newcomer QMx Interactive and Bad Robot Interactive, a division of Bad Robot Productions, allows users to create vintage movies on their Apple mobile devices. Super 8™ comes with seven photorealistic lenses sporting such effects as infrared, chromatic and x-ray. Users can overlay additional filter effects – like light leaks and vignettes – and "age" their film with a random scratch-and-dirt filter. There's even a frame-shake effect to top off the old-school feel of Super 8™-made movies.
Users can collect their shots and arrange or delete them to get that perfect narrative, and send their masterpiece off to be developed (no mailbox required: developing film happens entirely within the app). Once the movie is complete, users are transported to the Super 8™ projector room, where pulling down the screen and pressing "Play" on the projector will start their screening. Movies can be shared via e-mail or through social media sites via the iOS's gallery.
Playing back your movies on the Super 8™ projector may reveal missing frames from the Super 8 Editing Room Film. Be the first to collect all the frames to unlock a new clip at S8editingroom.com!
Best of all, the Super 8™ app is free for a limited time. The app can be downloaded at the iTunes App Store.
SUPER 8, the feature film, is a Bad Robot/Amblin Entertainment production, directed by J.J. Abrams from his original script and produced by Steven Spielberg, Abrams and Bryan Burk.
In the summer of 1979, a group of friends in a small Ohio town witness a catastrophic train crash while making a super 8 movie and soon suspect that it was not an accident. Shortly after, unusual disappearances and inexplicable events begin to take place in town, and the local Deputy tries to uncover the truth - something more terrifying than any of them could have imagined.
The film stars Kyle Chandler, Elle Fanning, Joel Courtney, Gabriel Basso, Noah Emmerich, Ron Eldard, Riley Griffiths, Ryan Lee and Zach Mills.
For more information, go to www.Super8-Movie.com
Follow Super 8 on Twitter at www.Twitter.com/Super8Movie
Like us on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/Super8Movie
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
In the beginning there was Mimi Rogers and David Duchovny, and lo, there was much sex to be had with strangers in airport Double Tree hotels. Wait I should probably go back further than that. Starting over. The Jewish folks nail Jesus to a cross and he dies, so that our sins may be forgiven. So basically, you can blame the Jewish for the loophole of people being able to do any crappy thing they want their whole lives...as long as they repent at the 0 hour, they get a ticket to heaven. Nice. Thank you Jewish.
Anyway, Jesus dies and then rises from the grave. There are supposedly many stories of the things Jesus did when he came back like appearing to his disciples to send them off to spread the word of God. If you watch Family guy, he did magic tricks with his hands that today, seem childish, but wowed the primitive peoples. Jesus says he will return in roughly 2 thousand years and at that time, he will take all those fit for Heaven and transport them away from the horrors that are to come. In the Left Behind movie, the preacher Kirk Cameron shows us we just dissappear, leaving behind empty clothes and bewildered folks wondering why no one woke them for the massive orgy and where the hell everyone went for pancakes afterward. Nude pancakes. Back in the Mimi Rogers world, there are trumpet blasts signalling the coming of the horsemen of the apocalypse, which is why Jesus has to get his people out right quick. Those who are chosen are prepared for this, though, as they all dreamed about a black pearl which was a sign to stop masturbating. If you follow the Squidbillies scripture, we do indeed pop out of our clothes and ascend to heaven with all of our boy and girl parts bared to be scrutinized by others also ascending. It is a long trip. Yes, the ladies will see your small ding ding and point..and laugh. On the plus side, if they laugh for too long, they will probably fall back to Earth and explode on impact..so...there's that.
Now, those left behind get front row seats for some major chaos. The Earth practically turns on itself and there are earthquakes and storms and volcanoes belching lava all over LA and tornadoes ripping down famous landmarks and then the demon hordes come to torture everyone that is left. The Squidbillies tell us this is the optimum time for looting. You just have to do it very quietly, as not to attract the 7 headed, fire breathing monster. American Dad is a little more accurate, showing the world turned into a sort of Mad Maxian landscape where Jesus and his forces do battle with Satan once and for all. Eye patches are in style at this point in time, which makes me feel good about it all. I could totally rock an eye patch. Not so sure about all the leather though. And I can't pull off a mullet anymore.
So, now you are briefed and fully prepared. Should the end come this Saturday, I hope you will have no regrets. Tell the ones you love you love them. Quit being such an asshole to people just for the sake of being the mightiest asshole you can be. When you talk to a woman, look into her eyes..not her boobs. Her boobs will still be there later and you stand a greater chance of touching them if you can look in her eyes for 5 minutes. Let's all be nice to each other, hm?
Friday, May 13, 2011
The story is not far from the movie version you've all been treated to since last weekend. The mythical god of thunder is cast down to Midgard (Earth) by his father Odin. Instead of just leaving him powerless among us, he bonds his son to the human Donald Blake, a gifted medical student with no memory of his godly alter ego. 10 years bring success and love to Blake before Odin's unseen hand guides him to a cave in which lay Thor's mighty hammer Mjolnir, disguised as a humble walking stick. When Blake taps the stick on the ground, he becomes THOR once more! With a new sense of purpose, Blake utilizes his Thor identity to battle the forces of evil, including his twisted, mischievous, black-hearted brother Loki. Battles against his own blood guide him to other super powered beings, eventually leading to the formation of the Avengers! See..everything happens for a reason.
Thor's battles have taken him to the furthest reaches of space and on the simple street corners of our cities battling the likes of The Wrecking Crew, Thanos, Destroyer, Juggernaut and even the planet devouring entity known as Galactus. The forces of good are not always black and white, so Thor has been known to pit his great power against those who also serve good. The Hulk, Silver Surfer and even Iron Man have stood toe to toe with the Thunderer. In fact, Iron Man has had more than one run in. Most recently, upon Thor's return to Earth, he learned of Tony Stark's cloning of Thor which lead to the death of the Avenger Goliath. This deed would not go unanswered and an epic battle ensued. I know Iron Man is a good guy, and I do enjoy watching the man work, but there is something very satisfying in watching the rich pretty boy get the snot beat out of him. FYI, Hulk has also had the pleasure. GOOD TIMES!
It is known that only he who is most worthy can wield the hammer of Thor, so it was an astounding moment when the man-god lost his hammer in battle against the perceived alien threat of Beta Ray Bill. Yes, yes, the name is retarded and he looks like a horse, but I don't write the damn things. At any rate, Bill was not only able to lift the hammer and claim its power for his own, but he refused to return it, as he had the last of his race to defend. After a battle over the right to wield the hammer, which Bill won AGAIN, Odin makes the alien a hammer of his own, as to not leave Thor empty handed and with a hammerless complex. In the process, Odin grants Bill the power to become mortal, so the enchantment on Thor's hammer is lifted and Donald Blake is no more. See...I was always under the impression Blake and Thor were sort of two different people, so this break was actually very Norse/Greek Godly to me. Why would they care if after all these years, Blake would just go Poof? Crazy gods. After a time Thor wants to live among humans again, so he becomes a construction worker. I bet he had a sleeveless flannel shirt too.
Today, Thor is back and more bad ass than ever in a newly designed costume that people DON'T actually hate and makes a lot more of an impact than his lame old school duds did. In toys, there have been several Thors made over the years with 2 in Toybiz's 5 inch lines, 2 in their 6 inch Marvel Legends lines, 1 for Hasbro's short lived dance with 6 inch figures, 1 awesome 7 inch or slightly taller figure for Diamond Select's Marvel Select line and two 3 and 3 quarter figures for Hasbro with one in his current gear and one in the classic costume. I'm not going to go into minimates, so don't ask. I'm not a minihater... just covering conventional action figures here! Diamond Select also has a movie version of Thor and Loki in stores now. I'm also not covering the half a dozen 3 and 3 quarter movie Thors because, honestly, they do nothing for me.
If you're looking for guest stars to pal around and battle Thor, there are more than a few ripped right from his comic pages. Included in my shots you'll find Loki (in 5 and two 6 inch versions, all of which fall short at depicting his classic outfit), the Destroyer armor, Ultron (who I figured he had to have fought, being a major Avengers villain) Marvel Select's Thanos and Juggernaut as well as The Avengers, Hulk, Iron Man in standard and "Thorbuster" armor, 2 versions of Beta Ray Bill, Angel (whom he pulled out of the sewers. It's a fact!) and the giant sized Galactus. My fakey Asgardian battle crew (and Thor's unfather) are made up of McFarlane figures across several lines. At the very least, that is Angela standing next to him and a Conan next to her. Loki's posse includes a Darkness demon, Purgatory (the red chick), Warlands Shrogran (the big blue guy that makes a fairly decent Frost Giant) and a SOTA toys Chronicles of Riddick Hellhound (which I often love to use as a supernatural creature.) Monster battles include Battle Trolls from Toy Biz's Lord of the Rings line, McFarlane's Jack Frost (the Frost Giant with the branches that awesomely looks like Ymir), an Avatar Press Snowman variant figure (with the long fingers), a DC Direct World of Warcraft Tauren Hunter Deluxe figure (the minotaur giant), a small horde of Everquest Iskar Necromancers (the lizard people) and a couple of Everquest Trolls which make for hysterical comic looking Marvel trolls!
Any further questions, be sure to leave it in the comments below. For the rest of the pics, hit up our Flickr!
P.S...If you can't figure out the caption to the first pic in the article, you have no business ever coming back to this blog.